uieting the stress response: Restoring peace in body, mind and spirit in the midst of intellectual and emotional chaos and change 

By Cosette Dawna Rae, B.A., B.C.S.M., Life Coach and Wellness Counselor

It’s been said that the only thing constant is change. For countless individuals, change in life is accompanied by its fellow companion, chronic stress. While some forms of stress may be viewed as positive, in that we are motivated into action, ongoing or chronic stress carries with it a host of negative outcomes. When working with clients in their quest to create balance in their lives, I often liken stress to the idea of car ownership. In one’s efforts to get to an intended destination pressure is placed on the gas peddle to get the car moving. Gentle pressure assists the vehicle in regulating the exact amount of fuel needed to create forward momentum. This is much like the occasional stress experienced in daily living. With a little nudge individuals are propelled into doing things that might not otherwise get accomplished. Too little pressure (or stress) and the car sits idle and unproductive. Thus, stress has a modulating effect on one’s ability to manage change.

Occasionally though, clients are faced with a crisis that floods their bodies with a cocktail of stress hormones readying it for a “flight” a “fight” or a “freeze” reaction. Like an imagined scene from the popular movie, “Fast and Furious,” by Cohen, the body waves the flag signaling the race to begin. This sympathetic response floods the bodies’ engine with chemicals to assist it in getting away from the perceived “dangerous” event. Too often though, today’s stressors do not require one to “run away” from the problem. Instead, individuals are asked to stick it out, be patient, reflect and resolve the issue in a rational cognitive manner. This dichotomy is rather like sitting at the starting gate with the engine revving up, the crowd cheering, the driver glancing over and giving one “the look,” and then saying to the driver, “When the green light comes on, I just want you to sit there and not do a darn thing.”

Another scenario relating to the car ownership analogy is equally important in our understanding of the stress response. Periodically the state requires a vehicle emission test. During this procedure the attendant asks the owner of the car to hold the gas peddle to the floor while the car is in park. This “over-revving” of the engine allows the attendant to determine if the vehicle is operating properly or not. Likewise, our bodies are similar in nature. Stress is a natural part of life, but constant unremitting “over-revving” breaks down our bodies’ ability to function properly signaling a need for intervention.As human beings we are often faced with a set of conflicting conundrums. Our bodies are divinely designed to protect us from harm in a world which is becoming increasingly more intellectually and emotionally, rather than physically distressing. In fact, if you honored your bodies desire to run in the middle of a stressful meeting you may actually be creating more stress for yourself.

Similarly, our bodies were not meant to operate in a state of constant and unremitting stress as evidenced by the increase in health and wellness concerns.Three choices become readily apparent, they are a) reduce the amount of stress in your life, b) adapt and change the way you respond to modern day stressors, or c) implement a combination of choices a and b. As a life coach, there are numerous ways of limiting and reducing the amount of stress in your life. One question I ask clients to consider in our work together is the possibility of being overcommitted. I like to remind clients that each time they say yes to one thing, they are saying no to another.

“What is it that you really want to say yes to in your life?”

Like the bounty paper towel lying next to a spill, the outside world is quick to absorb your energy if you allow it to do so. Reducing stress starts with honoring your own needs, values, goals and vision. Quieting the way you respond to stress is a battle for many individuals. One of the first steps necessary for change is creating a sense of awareness and insight, seeing things as they truly are, rather than avoiding, ignoring or employing a variety of defense mechanisms as a means of coping. When one always does what they’ve always done, they’ll get what they always get. Change begins with an inquiry, and reducing stress is no different. Quieting the stress response is initiated by creating a connection between your body, mind and spirit.

Steps to MINDFULLY MANAGING STRESS INCLUDE:

• INVITING AWARENESS 
• BEING PRESENT WITH STRESS 
• REDIRECTING THE BODY AND MIND THROUGH OPPOSITE ACTION 
• SELF-SOOTHING 
• PRACTICING WHAT WORKS

Like the emission test which detects an ailing vehicle, the body manifests signs that are often ignored without awareness. The body may be habituating to stress which is an invitation to dis-ease. Start noticing where you hold tension in your body. Is it in your shoulders? Do you clench your teeth? Do you furl your eyebrows? Once you notice where you store your stress, begin to inquire when stress shows up in your life. What happens when you watch the news? When demands are placed on your already busy schedule, what does your body sense? Tension in the body is like your vehicle service light, something requires attention.

The next step is to allow yourself to take a “pause” to inquire about the sensation. Is this a situation that requires you to flee? If so, honor this signal and take the necessary intuitive steps to keep yourself free from a perceived threat. BUT, if it is not a valid life threatening emergency, throw the breaker switch. The cognitive brain has the capability to redirect the sympathetic system. Like a light switch, you can help your body shut down the emergency response. A light cannot be both on and off at the same time. Next, redirect the body by engaging in opposite action. What this entails is letting the mind know through thought or action that the perceived threat does not require you to escape. It may require further thought, analysis, a display and experiencing of emotion, but the affect does not need to at a “red alert” to accomplish these tasks. Some opposite action activities include the following:

• Breathing deeply and restoratively at the first sign of stress
• Flooding the mind with opposite thoughts, for instance, “I’ve managed and overcome stressful situations in the past, this will work out” or “I’m safe right now, this is just my body’s defense mechanism,” and so on.
• Exercise in any form, i.e., running, walking, yoga, hiking, biking
• Rolling a tennis ball under your foot
• Pinching your shoulder blades together then releasing
• Visualizing a relaxing scene
• Seeing yourself calm, safe and peaceful
• Meditating
• Thinking a funny thought
• Finding ways to self-soothe will interrupt the fight-or-flight circuitry.

Some clients have taken the time to create a “self-soothing tool kit.” I recommend this to include items that will soothe all of the senses; sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell. Ideas include a calming CD, an aromatic candle, a vile of essential oil, and so on. It is important to master the skill of self-soothing rather than relying on others to soothe your nervous system for you.Lastly, the key to mastery is practice. The more you work at understanding your own body and how you respond to stressful situations, the more mindful you will become at controlling your reactions rather than allowing stress to control you. Managing stress takes time, energy and practice. Like anything worth having, homeostasis of mind, body and spirit is a gift that will attend you in all aspects of living.

You can experience a stress free life today. Discover whole life coaching.