I first recognized how highly intelligent and socially advanced the 20-30 year olds were upon my entrance to graduate school. Armed with my years of “life experience,” I assumed I’d navigate the trail as I’d done so many times before-with wisdom and grace. However, I soon realized that the youth of today aren’t following the trails of yesteryear–they’re texting, blogosphering, and capturing life as it happens.

What has been most fascinating is their ability to LIVE IN THE NOW. If you’re over forty, you’ll likely appreciate these observations. If you’re thirty or less, you’ll probably recognize your parents in all this. Here are some of the shattered beliefs that have been reframed since joining facebook:

Belief: If someone is taking a picture of you, it’s important to look your best, fixate on the camera lens, and put your best face forward (and no peace signs behind the head).  After all, you never know who might be looking at you!

Reframe #1: It’s much more fun to see goofy faces, crazy expressions, silly outfits, giggles, and pictures full of life and laughter, rather than staring at photo that looks like a hundred other photos you’ve seen of aunt Martha.

Belief: It’s important to be prim and proper. It’s not ok to talk potty talk, or discuss the unmentionables.

Reframing #2: Life happens in-between the lines. Seeing a video post on facebook which chronicles the first time an 18 year old cleans a toilet not only brightened my day, but reminded me of the first toilet I’d ever cleaned. Thanks Lissa!

Belief:It’s not ok to hook up with your parents, give them a kiss as you’re getting out of the car, or point them out to your friends at school. OoowW, yuck!

Reframing #3:Sure, we’ve run some of the facebook generation off by our joining en mass, but instead of running, many are willingly connecting wth friends and family (even though we’re often referred to as parent stalkers). There may be some of you that acutally remember wiping the kiss you received by your parents on your shirt sleeve. I have to hand it to them, I’m impressed with their desire to socially network across the generations.

Belief: If you break up with a partner, it’s best not to blab that to everyone except maybe one or two of your very closest friends. Better yet, maybe you should just go off to your room and cry the night away in complete despair.

Reframing #4: Change is a part of life, and youth of today embrace change with a sense of resilience and fortitude. In a relationship? There’s a field for that on facebook. Just broke up? Declare it to the world, “Hey, I’m now single.”  Or, better yet, tell the world your boyfriend is coming home from a two year mission in 15 days!

Belief: It’s important to let others see your “best side.” Why, if people knew you had any flaws, they might not like you. If they ever found out what social groups you were a part of, the causes you support, the television shows you watched or the politicians you admire. Hmmm. Well, you might as well go bury yourself in the sand.

Reframe #5: Humanity rules! Whether your a member of “Everything I learned about the law I learned from law and order” … or  “Click here to join the world’s biggest pillow fight.” There’s a place for you in this amazing diverse world.

Now, if I could only figure out how they come up with all those funny status comments, I’d be set. Bahahah. Ok, so I’ll keep my day job.

10-minute makeover ideas:

• Just stop! Don’t clean, don’t eat, don’t check your email, or do the laundry, just take a break and clear your mind. You might be surprised how clear things become when you take a cleansing break from the demands of life.
• Say thank you. Phone a friend, sit down with  your child, or have a conversation with your partner and express your gratitude.
• Get in touch with your divine side. Pray, meditate, find some solitude and honor that part of yourself that is fed spiritually.
• Do something nice for someone. Nothing fancy or elaborate, just a heartfelt act of kindness. Make a bed, pick up some flowers, or leave a note.
• Change your routine. Mixing up the pattern of everyday life changes the way we see the world. Take the scenic way home, tickle a loved one, or say hi to a stranger. By introducing novel change, your view of the world shifts.
• Embrace the positive. Instead of rolling out of bed thinking about the all the obligations that lay ahead, set your sites on the positives. Yes, it’s going to be a fabulous, joy filled day!

Creating change in your life doesn’t have to be a massive undertaking. It’s the little 10 minute make-overs that make “difference” happen.

Try the following exercise for the next week:

Choose a subject to focus on. This can be a child, your living space, a partner, or an issue of interest. Instead of finding the glaring negatives that pop out so readily, look for something positive and accentuate it. Ponder it, reflect on it, and allow yourself to feel grateful for your findings.

I’d be curious to hear what changes in your life as a result of this exercise. Please share!

I thought for a moment about my day and enthusiasticially shared the highlights. I then asked him about his day. He ran through a litany of actions he had taken at school to make it a “great day.” Apprehensive in the morning to engage in art class, he said “I did my best in art, and I’ve brought my grade up. I had fun with my friends and feel great about school.”

This middle school aged child is learning and developing the skill of perspective. It’s not what happens to you that determines your happiness, but what you consciously choose to focus on that matters. He consciously made the choice to “make it a great day” by doing his best in school. Even though he struggles in art class, he choose to find something positive to focus on.

Parents are in a unique position to “coach” their children across the developmental life span. Yet, it is when our teachings come back to us that we are reminded of the importance of teaching correct principles and watching them unfold and blossom. When children and adults run with a powerful concept, it truly is inspiring.