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Recently, “Swine flu.” Yesterday, “Bird flu.” Previously, “Pirates.”

Add to the above tagline, headlines about the economic downturn, job loss, foreclosure, and the most recent unemployment figures, and it’s not too difficult to see why we have an ever growing number of people feeling stressed. What may less obvious however, is identifying how this increase in societal stress is affecting our children.

The Sammamish Reporter recently ran a front page article by Jake Lynch titled, “ Children start to show signs of recession stress.” He states that elementary and pre-k children are exhibiting the signs and symptoms of stress in their lives at home and at school. Lynch states, “I had a fourth-grader say they were worried they were going to lose their home.” Lynch’s piece draws attention to the multi-systemic effects of stress on society; as parents, children, classmates, teachers, principals, and counselors are being exposed to a variety of stressful information in multiple settings.

In my relaxation coaching practice, I often emphasize the systemic effects of stress and how we as people energetically take on the feeling and sensate state of those around us; be it at the store or shopping mall, at school, or in the workplace. A beginning strategy to start confronting and changing stress is to start noticing what’s going on around you and what’s happing within your body. Like the common cold, we need to be aware of how we are spreading stress in our own lives so as not to inadvertantly displace that stress onto our children.

Here are some quick tips for relaxation now:

• BREATHE: This is believed to stimulate the Vagus Nerve, sending an “a, OK” response to the brain.
• PRACTICE COUNTERTHOUGHTS: Tell yourself “it’s all ok. This too shall pass. Everything is as it should be. I feel a sense of calm.”
• TRY PROGRESSIVE MUSCLE RELAXATION: Tighten your shoulders as tight as they can be; hold for 3 minutes and relax. Tighten your fists; hold for 3 minutes, then release. Experiment with other areas of your body until you feel better.
• CHANGE THE SCENERY: Focus on something positive. Notice what is going well in the moment.
• GET ACTIVE: Go for a walk; ride a bike; play with your children and get engaged in something phsycial.

Whatever you do, find what works best for you and your children. Develop these skills with each other. Children’s lives are stressful too, and now more than ever before, they need healthy ways to counter the stress they are picking up from us.

As I was working on some paperwork my son came up to me and asked, “How did you make it a great day today Mom?” (Obviously, life coaching is a way of life in our home, not just a professional pursuit.) Each day before I send him off to school I ask him this question, “What will you do today to make it a terrific day?” His answers vary each morning, but I find he is searching deeper than ever before at ways to find his own happiness.

I thought for a moment about my day and enthusiasticially shared the highlights. I then asked him about his day. He ran through a litany of actions he had taken at school to make it a “great day.” Apprehensive in the morning to engage in art class, he said “I did my best in art, and I’ve brought my grade up. I had fun with my friends and feel great about school.”

This middle school aged child is learning and developing the skill of perspective. It’s not what happens to you that determines your happiness, but what you consciously choose to focus on that matters. He consciously made the choice to “make it a great day” by doing his best in school. Even though he struggles in art class, he choose to find something positive to focus on.

Parents are in a unique position to “coach” their children across the developmental life span. Yet, it is when our teachings come back to us that we are reminded of the importance of teaching correct principles and watching them unfold and blossom. When children and adults run with a powerful concept, it truly is inspiring.