Livevine

The other evening I met with a group of women for an afternoon social. After a brief series of introductions, the topic turned to how each of us were spending our time. I mentioned I’d been reading an excellent book titled, “The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog.” It’s a fabulous read on the effects of early childhood trauma and its ability to impact a person’s life well into adulthood without treatment.

Several of the women appeared perplexed, as if to say, “Trauma? That’s you’re idea of having fun?” For a moment, I stepped inward and contemplated just how strange that may seem to others. But inside, the definitive answer to my self-analysis was “YES, Trauma!”

For nearly 10 years now I have spent my free time studying, diagnosing, analyzing and assisting others to heal from the negative outcomes of traumatic experiences. I have witnessed tremendous growth and miraculous healings when trauma is addressed. Attitudes shift, relationships improve, and obstacles which were once unbearable, become stepping stones to personal happiness and fulfillment. Seeing (and knowing) what’s possible with trauma survivors is a motivating force.

For example, many trauma survivors report having a poor memory. They often attribute their inability to retain thoughts as simply “getting old.” While it is true that aging can have an effect on memory, oftentimes stress is a bigger culprit. When the body is conditioned by previous traumas, a person confronted with a traumatic reminder may respond based on past experience. Their body is programmed to engage the ‘stress response system’ without any cognitive thought on their part. This system is more concerned with keeping you safe, than storing non-traumatic memory.

By addressing trauma in counseling, the body can be taught new ways of responding to old triggers. And with these changes in bodily perceptions, comes an opportunity for memory to improve. Rather than readying the body to escape, events are put into perspective, and the details associated with these events are effectively stored in the brain. In time, memory abilities often improve.

This is just one positive outcome of dealing with past traumas. Seeing people overcome their fears, watching relationships flourish, and witnessing the potential that emerges when the trauma story is resolved is the real gift of studying trauma. It’s a journey with a lifetime of rewards.

Feeling run down? Doing the same repetitive tasks over and over again. Tired of it all? Maybe it’s time to create a rejuvenation board! A visual representation of activities which inspire you. Here are a few suggested categories for your board:

QUICK ME-UP ACTIVITIES (This is a list of activities that can be done in less than an hour). Examples:

• Read a favorite book
• Watch a favorite program
• Phone a friend
• Go for a walk
• Play guitar hero

PICK ME-UP ACTIVITIES: (This includes activities that will take up the better part of a day or more.) Examples:

• Get a massage or spa treatment
• Rendevous with a friend
• Linger the day away (yes it’s ok to take care of yourself by doing nothing)
• Take a day trip
• Engage in a favorite hobby

BUILD ME-UP ACTIVITIES (This includes activities that will push your growing edge.) Examples:

• Sign up for a college class, workshop or seminar
• Donate some time supporting your favorite cause(s)
• Do something special for someone in need

WAKE ME-UP ACTIVITIES (These are novel, different, intriguing activities that challenge you.) Examples:

• Take up Fencing
• Enjoy a Nia Dance class
• Take a zip-line adventure tour
• Apply for a new job
• Teach a continuing education class
• Visit a new part of town

Post your board, chart, or list in a place that will serve as a reminder to rejuvenate yourself. Feel free to add new activities you learn about on a daily basis. Those items in life that we put before us often become acted upon. Although activities that promote productivity are highly regarded in American society, so too should time for rejuvinating oneself.

This may seem counter-intuitive, but a proven technique for reducing anxiety is to actually allow yourself to ”get anxious.” People tend to do whatever it takes to avoid anxiety, so utilizing this strategy may take some practice.

Step 1: Visualize and actually think about something that makes you anxious

Step 2: Once the symptoms begin to appear, stay with the symptoms, do not run away from them, or try to minimize them, instead, work at keeping the anxiety going.

Step 3: Don’t give in to your first desire (this may be to flee, distract yourself, avoid the situation, stay close to someone, or seek reassurance). What I mean by desire, is the coping mechanism that you resort to when you want to reduce the anxiety. Rather, just allow yourself to feel the anxiety. Stay with it. Examine it. Notice it. Let it be present and accept it without judgement. Picture anxiety like the ocean tides. It washes over you, bathing you in emotion, then retreats where it once came from.

Step 4: Repeat steps 1-3 over an over again in a variety of situations and environments. Mastery is achieved through repetition.

Research has shown that it is possible to unlearn anxiety patterns. Facing and experiencing the anxiety without resorting to previously utilized coping skills breaks down the mental and physical patterns associated with chronic anxiety. Give yourself the opportunity to discover that although you may be fearful of a given situation, oftentimes, it is our fear that’s worse than any perceived outcome.