Add to the above tagline, headlines about the economic downturn, job loss, foreclosure, and the most recent unemployment figures, and it’s not too difficult to see why we have an ever growing number of people feeling stressed. What may less obvious however, is identifying how this increase in societal stress is affecting our children.

The Sammamish Reporter recently ran a front page article by Jake Lynch titled, “ Children start to show signs of recession stress.” He states that elementary and pre-k children are exhibiting the signs and symptoms of stress in their lives at home and at school. Lynch states, “I had a fourth-grader say they were worried they were going to lose their home.” Lynch’s piece draws attention to the multi-systemic effects of stress on society; as parents, children, classmates, teachers, principals, and counselors are being exposed to a variety of stressful information in multiple settings.

In my relaxation coaching practice, I often emphasize the systemic effects of stress and how we as people energetically take on the feeling and sensate state of those around us; be it at the store or shopping mall, at school, or in the workplace. A beginning strategy to start confronting and changing stress is to start noticing what’s going on around you and what’s happing within your body. Like the common cold, we need to be aware of how we are spreading stress in our own lives so as not to inadvertantly displace that stress onto our children.

Here are some quick tips for relaxation now:

• BREATHE: This is believed to stimulate the Vagus Nerve, sending an “a, OK” response to the brain.
• PRACTICE COUNTERTHOUGHTS: Tell yourself “it’s all ok. This too shall pass. Everything is as it should be. I feel a sense of calm.”
• TRY PROGRESSIVE MUSCLE RELAXATION: Tighten your shoulders as tight as they can be; hold for 3 minutes and relax. Tighten your fists; hold for 3 minutes, then release. Experiment with other areas of your body until you feel better.
• CHANGE THE SCENERY: Focus on something positive. Notice what is going well in the moment.
• GET ACTIVE: Go for a walk; ride a bike; play with your children and get engaged in something phsycial.

Whatever you do, find what works best for you and your children. Develop these skills with each other. Children’s lives are stressful too, and now more than ever before, they need healthy ways to counter the stress they are picking up from us.

The first thing you will need is some music which gets you shaking. Osho produces a Shaking Meditation CD, however you can find anything that will get you actively moving. If desired,  listen to the sampler and locate music with a similar instrumental beat. Next, find a safe place to shake away your stress. Since you will be moving about, you’ll need to locate a setting where you won’t inadvertently knock something over, or bump into something while you shake.

Now you’re ready to relieve that stress.

Step 1: Start Shaking! Shake your arms, your wrists, your fingers, your legs, your gluts and anything else you can get moving. You’ll want to put your entire muscle strength into the process. Vigorously shake your entire body for a total of 15 minutes.

Step 2: Slow it down.Now that you’ve just shaken your body, you’re heart rate will be elevated and it’s time to bring it down into a healthier range. Put on some music that you like to groove to and twirl, dance, move about. This isn’t designed to be a vigorous activity, so you’ll want to select music that is somewhere in-between making you want to jump and shout, or fall asleep. Gently move for another 10-15 minutes.

Step 3: Lie down and relax. Let your body rest while lying on your back. Close your eyes and practice deep diaphragmatic breathing. This is the time to allow your body to take in the feeling of calm. There is no time limit to this part of the exercise. Just be in the moment and enjoy the state if relaxation brought on by movement.

This mediation may also be done with your friends, spouse or partner. However, I often recommend that you close your eyes while engaging in a shaking meditation as it can look or feel really silly (for some of us). 

Gives new meaning to the phrase, “shake, rattle and roll.”

It may be as simple as setting your watch and taking a moment to be grateful according to a recent report by Jean Enersen of King 5 news. Enersen recently interviewed Dr. Kathleen Hall, Founder and Director of the Stress Institute, who suggests that “there’s actually a physiological response when people are grateful. They have more energy. They’re more enthusiastic. They’re more optimistic.” 

The important point to take away from Enersen’s interview with Hall is that research is now confirming that gratitude does in fact “change the body.”

Harnessing the effects of gratitude and using it to ones benefit might be the easiest form of stress reduction available on the market today. And that’s something to be grateful for. 

Autogenics involves getting into a comfortable position while performing a series of visualizations which assist the body in creating a state of heaviness and warmth thereby inducing relaxation. Sessions last aproximately 15 minutes and should be practiced frequently in order to master the technique.

An autogenic session is typically started with a series of breathing exercises. It is then followed by a series of visualizations:

• Heaviness (of each arm, both arms, each leg, both legs, both arms and legs)
  • My right arm is feeling heavy (repeat 6 times)
  • My right arm is getting heavier (repeat 6 times)
  • My right arm is heavy (repeat 6 times)
  • I feel calm
• Warmth (of each arm, both arms, each leg, both legs, both arms and legs)
  • My right arm is feeling warm (repeat 6 times)
  • My right arm is getting warmer (repeat 6 times)
  • My right arm is warm (repeat 6 times)
  • I feel calm

Eventually the participant incorporates warming and calming the heart, breathing, and seeing the stomach as soft and warm. A session eventually ends with visualizing the forehead as becoming cool and calm. As each step is mastered, the phases of autogenics become automatic and the participant is able to experience an increased feeling of relaxation.

While autogenics is simple and easy to learn, true mastery comes with daily practice.

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References:

Wolkowitz, OM., Reus, VI., Keebler, A. et al (1999). “Double-blind treatment of major depression with dehydroepiandrosterone”. The American journal of psychiatry 156 (4): 646-9. PMID 10200751.

Schmidt, PJ., Daly, RC., Bloch, M., et al (2005). “Dehydroepiandrosterone monotherapy in midlife-onset major and minor depression”. Arch. Gen. Psychiatry 62 (2): 154-62. DOI:10.1001/archpsyc.62.2.154. PMID 15699292.

This may be a painful question to ask a typical high achieving, go getting, doer, type A personality.  In fact, it may bring up some frustration, anger or even avoidance.

What matter’s most is not what someone else thinks, but how fulfilled you feel with the life you’ve chosen for yourself.

Do you enjoy being busy, productive, and living a life filled with accomplishments? If so, then congratulations on living your life on purpose.

On the other hand, if you are like many of those that find their way into my practice, the truth lies closer to “I’m just tired of it all. I feel like I’m running faster than I have strength all the time.” Many are too busy to even analyze why they are so busy. They’ve grown accustomed to, and even take pride in, their amazing ability to “get things done.” They find themselves stuck in a ”humandoing” world. The more competent they become, the more they are asked to take on. The more they take on, the more fatigued, worn out, and exhausted they feel.  High productivity is frequently reinforced by co-workers, partners, friends and even family members who have much to gain from the productive behavior.

If you were to ask many of these people what they wished they had more of, the word most frequently share may be “balance.” They’d like feel productive but fulfilled in their personal and professional lives. 

Since high acheivers derive much of their self-worth from what they do versus who they are, the thought of change can be frightening.

Who am I if I don’t perform to other’s expectations?

Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that we are first and foremost human beings, endowed with unique qualities and gifts worthy of esteem, admiration, and respect. Regardless of what we get done, or let slip  by for a wiser purpose, our lives have meaning and purpose merely because we exist.

For those that wish to shed their image as a human doer, the first step is to honor that part of you that desires change. You’re feeling stressed, burned out and fatigued for a reason. Listen to your inner voice. Trust your intuition. It’s right more often than you might suspect.

Ask yourself this question next time you feel like you are taking on too much . . .

“If I say yes to this, what am I saying no to?”