Livevine

I’ve been thinking about this topic for quite sometime now. As a therapist, I spend a significant amount of life reading “how to” literature on the creation of healthy social relationships and the basics of life satisfaction. Ironic isn’t it, that some of the most interesting lessons I’ve learned lately about connecting with others has come as a result of lurking on facebook and socializing with graduate students at the UW who are literally half my age. As someone interested in behavioral science, I’m fascinated by (and have become a huge fan of) my younger cohorts.

I first recognized how highly intelligent and socially advanced the 20-30 year olds were upon my entrance to graduate school. Armed with my years of “life experience,” I assumed I’d navigate the trail as I’d done so many times before-with wisdom and grace. However, I soon realized that the youth of today aren’t following the trails of yesteryear–they’re texting, blogosphering, and capturing life as it happens.

What has been most fascinating is their ability to LIVE IN THE NOW. If you’re over forty, you’ll likely appreciate these observations. If you’re thirty or less, you’ll probably recognize your parents in all this. Here are some of the shattered beliefs that have been reframed since joining facebook:

Belief: If someone is taking a picture of you, it’s important to look your best, fixate on the camera lens, and put your best face forward (and no peace signs behind the head).  After all, you never know who might be looking at you!

Reframe #1: It’s much more fun to see goofy faces, crazy expressions, silly outfits, giggles, and pictures full of life and laughter, rather than staring at photo that looks like a hundred other photos you’ve seen of aunt Martha.

Belief: It’s important to be prim and proper. It’s not ok to talk potty talk, or discuss the unmentionables.

Reframing #2: Life happens in-between the lines. Seeing a video post on facebook which chronicles the first time an 18 year old cleans a toilet not only brightened my day, but reminded me of the first toilet I’d ever cleaned. Thanks Lissa!

Belief:It’s not ok to hook up with your parents, give them a kiss as you’re getting out of the car, or point them out to your friends at school. OoowW, yuck!

Reframing #3:Sure, we’ve run some of the facebook generation off by our joining en mass, but instead of running, many are willingly connecting wth friends and family (even though we’re often referred to as parent stalkers). There may be some of you that acutally remember wiping the kiss you received by your parents on your shirt sleeve. I have to hand it to them, I’m impressed with their desire to socially network across the generations.

Belief: If you break up with a partner, it’s best not to blab that to everyone except maybe one or two of your very closest friends. Better yet, maybe you should just go off to your room and cry the night away in complete despair.

Reframing #4: Change is a part of life, and youth of today embrace change with a sense of resilience and fortitude. In a relationship? There’s a field for that on facebook. Just broke up? Declare it to the world, “Hey, I’m now single.”  Or, better yet, tell the world your boyfriend is coming home from a two year mission in 15 days!

Belief: It’s important to let others see your “best side.” Why, if people knew you had any flaws, they might not like you. If they ever found out what social groups you were a part of, the causes you support, the television shows you watched or the politicians you admire. Hmmm. Well, you might as well go bury yourself in the sand.

Reframe #5: Humanity rules! Whether your a member of “Everything I learned about the law I learned from law and order” … or  “Click here to join the world’s biggest pillow fight.” There’s a place for you in this amazing diverse world.

Now, if I could only figure out how they come up with all those funny status comments, I’d be set. Bahahah. Ok, so I’ll keep my day job.

This entry was posted on Friday, January 16th, 2009 at 8:21 am and is filed under Perspective. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.