Humanbeing or humandoing?
If I asked your closest friend which of the following words would describe you best, what would they choose? Are you a humanbeing first, or a humandoing?
This may be a painful question to ask a typical high achieving, go getting, doer, type A personality. In fact, it may bring up some frustration, anger or even avoidance.
What matter’s most is not what someone else thinks, but how fulfilled you feel with the life you’ve chosen for yourself.
Do you enjoy being busy, productive, and living a life filled with accomplishments? If so, then congratulations on living your life on purpose.
On the other hand, if you are like many of those that find their way into my practice, the truth lies closer to “I’m just tired of it all. I feel like I’m running faster than I have strength all the time.” Many are too busy to even analyze why they are so busy. They’ve grown accustomed to, and even take pride in, their amazing ability to “get things done.” They find themselves stuck in a ”humandoing” world. The more competent they become, the more they are asked to take on. The more they take on, the more fatigued, worn out, and exhausted they feel. High productivity is frequently reinforced by co-workers, partners, friends and even family members who have much to gain from the productive behavior.
If you were to ask many of these people what they wished they had more of, the word most frequently share may be “balance.” They’d like feel productive but fulfilled in their personal and professional lives.
Since high acheivers derive much of their self-worth from what they do versus who they are, the thought of change can be frightening.
Who am I if I don’t perform to other’s expectations?
Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that we are first and foremost human beings, endowed with unique qualities and gifts worthy of esteem, admiration, and respect. Regardless of what we get done, or let slip by for a wiser purpose, our lives have meaning and purpose merely because we exist.
For those that wish to shed their image as a human doer, the first step is to honor that part of you that desires change. You’re feeling stressed, burned out and fatigued for a reason. Listen to your inner voice. Trust your intuition. It’s right more often than you might suspect.
Ask yourself this question next time you feel like you are taking on too much . . .
“If I say yes to this, what am I saying no to?”
