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Recently, “Swine flu.” Yesterday, “Bird flu.” Previously, “Pirates.”

Add to the above tagline, headlines about the economic downturn, job loss, foreclosure, and the most recent unemployment figures, and it’s not too difficult to see why we have an ever growing number of people feeling stressed. What may less obvious however, is identifying how this increase in societal stress is affecting our children.

The Sammamish Reporter recently ran a front page article by Jake Lynch titled, “ Children start to show signs of recession stress.” He states that elementary and pre-k children are exhibiting the signs and symptoms of stress in their lives at home and at school. Lynch states, “I had a fourth-grader say they were worried they were going to lose their home.” Lynch’s piece draws attention to the multi-systemic effects of stress on society; as parents, children, classmates, teachers, principals, and counselors are being exposed to a variety of stressful information in multiple settings.

In my relaxation coaching practice, I often emphasize the systemic effects of stress and how we as people energetically take on the feeling and sensate state of those around us; be it at the store or shopping mall, at school, or in the workplace. A beginning strategy to start confronting and changing stress is to start noticing what’s going on around you and what’s happing within your body. Like the common cold, we need to be aware of how we are spreading stress in our own lives so as not to inadvertantly displace that stress onto our children.

Here are some quick tips for relaxation now:

• BREATHE: This is believed to stimulate the Vagus Nerve, sending an “a, OK” response to the brain.
• PRACTICE COUNTERTHOUGHTS: Tell yourself “it’s all ok. This too shall pass. Everything is as it should be. I feel a sense of calm.”
• TRY PROGRESSIVE MUSCLE RELAXATION: Tighten your shoulders as tight as they can be; hold for 3 minutes and relax. Tighten your fists; hold for 3 minutes, then release. Experiment with other areas of your body until you feel better.
• CHANGE THE SCENERY: Focus on something positive. Notice what is going well in the moment.
• GET ACTIVE: Go for a walk; ride a bike; play with your children and get engaged in something phsycial.

Whatever you do, find what works best for you and your children. Develop these skills with each other. Children’s lives are stressful too, and now more than ever before, they need healthy ways to counter the stress they are picking up from us.

Shaking meditation is an active technique which effectively releases the accumulated tension in your body allowing it to enter a state of relaxation. Here’s how you can shake away your stress . . .

The first thing you will need is some music which gets you shaking. Osho produces a Shaking Meditation CD, however you can find anything that will get you actively moving. If desired,  listen to the sampler and locate music with a similar instrumental beat. Next, find a safe place to shake away your stress. Since you will be moving about, you’ll need to locate a setting where you won’t inadvertently knock something over, or bump into something while you shake.

Now you’re ready to relieve that stress.

Step 1: Start Shaking! Shake your arms, your wrists, your fingers, your legs, your gluts and anything else you can get moving. You’ll want to put your entire muscle strength into the process. Vigorously shake your entire body for a total of 15 minutes.

Step 2: Slow it down.Now that you’ve just shaken your body, you’re heart rate will be elevated and it’s time to bring it down into a healthier range. Put on some music that you like to groove to and twirl, dance, move about. This isn’t designed to be a vigorous activity, so you’ll want to select music that is somewhere in-between making you want to jump and shout, or fall asleep. Gently move for another 10-15 minutes.

Step 3: Lie down and relax. Let your body rest while lying on your back. Close your eyes and practice deep diaphragmatic breathing. This is the time to allow your body to take in the feeling of calm. There is no time limit to this part of the exercise. Just be in the moment and enjoy the state if relaxation brought on by movement.

This mediation may also be done with your friends, spouse or partner. However, I often recommend that you close your eyes while engaging in a shaking meditation as it can look or feel really silly (for some of us). 

Gives new meaning to the phrase, “shake, rattle and roll.”

I’ve been thinking about this topic for quite sometime now. As a therapist, I spend a significant amount of life reading “how to” literature on the creation of healthy social relationships and the basics of life satisfaction. Ironic isn’t it, that some of the most interesting lessons I’ve learned lately about connecting with others has come as a result of lurking on facebook and socializing with graduate students at the UW who are literally half my age. As someone interested in behavioral science, I’m fascinated by (and have become a huge fan of) my younger cohorts.

I first recognized how highly intelligent and socially advanced the 20-30 year olds were upon my entrance to graduate school. Armed with my years of “life experience,” I assumed I’d navigate the trail as I’d done so many times before-with wisdom and grace. However, I soon realized that the youth of today aren’t following the trails of yesteryear–they’re texting, blogosphering, and capturing life as it happens.

What has been most fascinating is their ability to LIVE IN THE NOW. If you’re over forty, you’ll likely appreciate these observations. If you’re thirty or less, you’ll probably recognize your parents in all this. Here are some of the shattered beliefs that have been reframed since joining facebook:

Belief: If someone is taking a picture of you, it’s important to look your best, fixate on the camera lens, and put your best face forward (and no peace signs behind the head).  After all, you never know who might be looking at you!

Reframe #1: It’s much more fun to see goofy faces, crazy expressions, silly outfits, giggles, and pictures full of life and laughter, rather than staring at photo that looks like a hundred other photos you’ve seen of aunt Martha.

Belief: It’s important to be prim and proper. It’s not ok to talk potty talk, or discuss the unmentionables.

Reframing #2: Life happens in-between the lines. Seeing a video post on facebook which chronicles the first time an 18 year old cleans a toilet not only brightened my day, but reminded me of the first toilet I’d ever cleaned. Thanks Lissa!

Belief:It’s not ok to hook up with your parents, give them a kiss as you’re getting out of the car, or point them out to your friends at school. OoowW, yuck!

Reframing #3:Sure, we’ve run some of the facebook generation off by our joining en mass, but instead of running, many are willingly connecting wth friends and family (even though we’re often referred to as parent stalkers). There may be some of you that acutally remember wiping the kiss you received by your parents on your shirt sleeve. I have to hand it to them, I’m impressed with their desire to socially network across the generations.

Belief: If you break up with a partner, it’s best not to blab that to everyone except maybe one or two of your very closest friends. Better yet, maybe you should just go off to your room and cry the night away in complete despair.

Reframing #4: Change is a part of life, and youth of today embrace change with a sense of resilience and fortitude. In a relationship? There’s a field for that on facebook. Just broke up? Declare it to the world, “Hey, I’m now single.”  Or, better yet, tell the world your boyfriend is coming home from a two year mission in 15 days!

Belief: It’s important to let others see your “best side.” Why, if people knew you had any flaws, they might not like you. If they ever found out what social groups you were a part of, the causes you support, the television shows you watched or the politicians you admire. Hmmm. Well, you might as well go bury yourself in the sand.

Reframe #5: Humanity rules! Whether your a member of “Everything I learned about the law I learned from law and order” … or  “Click here to join the world’s biggest pillow fight.” There’s a place for you in this amazing diverse world.

Now, if I could only figure out how they come up with all those funny status comments, I’d be set. Bahahah. Ok, so I’ll keep my day job.